I think the reason I can’t set fifty shades of grey down is because I do badly wish it was me.
I hate being controlled in my life. Except with sex. I love being controlled during sex. It’s a huge turn on. I could go for a D&S kind of thing.. If only.
So I’ve been busy and things have change a lot. I’m no longer with Anthony. And I am single. And lonelier than ever. I just want to have someone I can sleep next to. Someone I can cuddle with. Ugh so what do I do?? I text kaleb. He’s doing better than what I expected. And I’m happy for him. (: he’s not over here anymore. He’s in Glendale taking care of his aunt.
Nick, isn’t in my life anymore. I don’t know what happened. We just stopped talking.
Uhm I’m going to school and it’s fun. But I’m not sure how I’m going to do with this online stuff. But I’ll figure it out.
I’m talking to Connor. Often. Like every day. We smoke together a lot and it’s fun. But it’s so bad for me. I get attached and he doesn’t. He could care less. He could drop me in an instant and be okay. I can’t. Ha. I wish.
I just openly admitted to him that I love him. Ad his response? I love you too.. Show me you love me and maybe I won’t move to Oregon in a year(;
What. The. Fuck.
So I’m sitting here and I’ve been thinking a lot. And I don’t think Anthony and I are going to work. He’s not smart enough. He doesn’t have a drive to do anything. All he wants to is smoke and make baby’s. I’m not okt with this. I really want it to work. But I don’t think it will. We say I love you and had plans to move in. Even talked about the future together but I don’t think it’s gonna happen. He treats me like I’m incapable and then he islets upset when I don’t want to have sex. I’m like dude. Fuck off. Idk. Bleh
I miss my boyfriend. End of story. ):
I don’t understand. I find someone I feel like I can talk to and it’s weird. Fuck. I just like talking to someone who gives a rats ass. It’s nothing more than that I really just hate this. Nick complicates shit so much.
So, at work I’ve been working my ass off. I’m all over the place doing a million things at once and doin them all correctly and better than most. I thought I was being considered for a management training position. But I find out today that I’m not. That they’re looking at Wayne. All he does is fuck things up and nark on everyone. He does NOTHING. I am so entirely frustrated with the situation. So much so that I clocked out got in my car and cried my eyes out. I know I’m moving to the 3rd resturaunt when it opens in August and I’m also moving to Tempe in September when my lease is up. I can’t wait.
I’m also living with Meghan and mak now. It’s alright. Frustrating but ok.
Anthony is what keeps me smiling. He instantly changes my mood. It’s amazing. And I truly believe, even if it’s just for the moment, that he is supposed to be in my life. And it’s a wonderful life.
He’s a great guy. And only gets better as I learn more about him. He is everything I can ask for and more. He’s super supportive and does nothing but encourage me when I talk about my dreams and is already willing to help me. We’ve only been together a few weeks but I think this could be a really great thing. He’s my prince charming. (:
I’m no longer living with my mom. Instead with Meghan. It’s strange not being able to go down the hall and talk to my mom. But I think it’ll be a good thing.
All in all, I’m so happy with where I am and can’t wait for what else the world has in store for me (:
I have a wonderful life. I’m going to school and hopefully beginning the phlebotomy certification program at Phoenix college in the fall. I’m so excited. I have to take two classes over te summer but I’ve already taken them so its going to be a breeze.
Work is fantastic. I just got a 50 cent raise and am officially being considered for the Manager In Training program for the third resturaunt and I’m having a blast doing it.
I have a wonderfully amazing boyfriend. He is so good to me. He’s sweet and kind and I am falling so hard for him. He’s quickly becoming my best friend. And it’s wonderful. He is so unbelievably good looking to me and sexy. Very sexy. It’s crazy. Every time I look at him he’s more attractive. And he’s everything I look for in a man. He wants a family, wants to get married young and understands what his responsibilities are and is willing to do what it takes to get there.
It honestly makes me sad when grown adults act like children. Especially when they have children themselves. It’s pathetic. How is your child going to know how to act when you yourself do not act like a function capable adult?
If your 22 and you have a child you should not indulge yourself in pitiful work place drama. And the fact that even then some people are oblivious to the fact that they’re doing anything wrong is just so weird to me.
Here I am 19 years old and I can’t stand to be involved in senseless drama.